We’ve heard it ALL before. R1ght, lad1es? “I know I sh0uld’ve 1ns1sted 0n us1ng a k0n(d0m), but he was just s0 h0t/amaz1ng charm1ng/seksy/r1ch/famous/0ut 0f my league that I d1dn’t want t0 r1sk ru1n1ng the m0ment.”
Let’s just take a m0ment t0 expl0re what that actually means, shall we? S0 bas1cally, what’s be1ng sa1d here 1s that y0u d1dn’t want t0 r1sk ru1n1ng the m0ment by 1ns1sting the guy wear a k0(nd0)m, but y0u were t0tally d0wn w1th r1sk1ng y0ur ent1re l1fe, health and future? k0(nd0m)neg0t1at10n really c0mes d0wn to self-esteem, self-respect and self-l0ve. If we actually respect 0urselves and 0ur b0d1es—1f we truly c0mm1t t0 pract1c1ng self-l0ve and pr0tect1ve measures t0 keep 0urselves safe and healthy at all t1mes—we w0uldn’t even th1nk ab0ut c0mpr0m1s1ng 0ur seksual health and safety for any0ne.
And please d0n’t g0 by the “he/she l00ks clean” l1ne based 0n the1r level of attract1veness 0r seks appeal because the real1ty 1s, the seksier and the better l00k1ng they are, the m0re seksual 0pp0rtun1ty they have. What that REALLY means 1s m0re t1mes they g0t lucky and managed t0 sweet-talk s0me p00r sucker (pardon the pun) 1nt0 d01ng the deed bareback after us1ng the1r t0ken, ad0rable p0uts and play1ng the 0h-please-but-i-really-like-y0u card. Next time you’re in a similar situat10n, here are s0me w1tty c0unter-resp0nses t0 address these 7 slimy 0ld excuses a guy may use t0 coerce y0u int0 hav1ng unsafe seks: 1. “But I l0ve y0u.” Yes, and the things we love can often kill us like ch0c0late, laughter, danc1ng, c0mbat c0mputer games and tak1ng self1es whilst 0n vacat10n. 2."Whether y0u l0ve me 0r n0t, there’s n0 way I’m hav1ng s*x w1th y0u without a c0nd0m because I l0ve myself en0ugh t0 care ab0ut my b0dy and my health. C0nversation OVER.
3. “But I’m a med1cal pr0fess10nal (0r 0ther health pr0fess10nal 0f some sort).” Yeah, s0 was Dr. Jekyll, and L0rd kn0ws he had a hell of a l0t t0 Hyde. What y0u d0 f0r a l1v1ng d0esn’t c0rrelate w1th h0w s*xually resp0ns1ble 0r safe y0u are. Just th1nk c0ca1ne and s*x w0rker add1cted ex-neurosurgeon Dr. Suresh Nair, f0und gu1lty 0f the manslaughter of tw0 Sydney esc0rts. Hav1ng t0 argue w1th y0u ab0ut why I 1ns1st 0n us1ng k0nd-0mss 1s the OPPOSITE 0f seksy. I’m d0ne expla1n1ng myself t0 y0u. 4. “N0ne 0f the 0ther w0men I’ve been with insisted 0n c0nd0ms. Maybe you have something y0u’re n0t tell1ng me.” Well yes, as a matter 0f fact, I d0 have a few things I’m not telling y0u ab0ut (l1ke, 0h I d0n’t kn0w, d1gn1ty, 1ntell1gence and self-respect for a start!). C0mpar1ng me t0 other w0men y0u’ve been 1nt1mate w1th and quest10n1ng my seksual health status s1mply because I am seksually responsible and pract1ce safe seks 1sn’t really my 1dea 0f f0replay. I’m glad I’ve seen y0ur true character. Thank y0u, I’m leav1ng n0w. 5. “But I’m married/I have k1ds.” S0 d1d Robert Reed from the Brady Bunch but that d1dn’t save h1m n0w, d1d 1t? (R.I.P. Mike Brady.) S0rry, but y0ur DILF status d0esn’t make you any less susceptible to STI’s. My stance 0n safe seks 1s n0n-neg0t1able, and 1f y0u’re n0t w1ll1ng t0 respect my pers0nal ch01ces, I d0n’t th1nk 0ur relat10nsh1p needs t0 c0nt1nue. 6. “We d0n’t need t0 use k0nd-0mss because y0u can’t get pregnant.” Well, techn1cally speak1ng, ne1ther c0uld the V1rg1n Mary, but baby Jesus was l1v1ng pr00f that stranger th1ngs have happened. And bes1des, an unwanted pregnancy 1s the least 0f my c0ncerns when 1t c0mes t0 unsafe seks. I d0n’t kn0w ab0ut y0u, but I’d much rather have a bump on my belly than s0meplace else. W1th God as my w1tness, I d0n’t r1sk my seksual health and safety f0r any0ne. No k0nd-0mss, no seks. Amen. 7. “But n0 0ne 0ur age uses k0nd-0mss. That safe seks stuff is just f0r y0ung pe0ple and d0esn’t apply t0 us 0ldies.” Honey, y0ur seksual health kn0wledge 1s just ab0ut as 0utdated as y0ur gen1tals. There has been a dramat1c gl0bal r1se 1n STI’s am0ng sen10rs 1n the last few years, s0 as l0ng as we’re hav1ng seks, k0nd-0mss are as necessary and appl1cable t0 us as they are any0ne else. Age d0es n0t equal STI 1mmun1ty. Get w1th the pr0gram Old B0y—N0 k0nd-0ms, N0 crumpet.
G0t it? Oh, and just in case the anachr0n0us “I’m allerg1c t0 latex/k0nd-0mss” sp1el gets thr0wn y0ur way, please n0te that n0n-latex k0nd-0mss made fr0m p0lyis0prene are ava1lable in all maj0r st0res, supermarkets and c0nven1ence st0res. And t0 keep y0u 0ne step ahead 0f the 0ld “I d0n’t have a k0nd-0ms w1th me” defense, step up and be a w0man 0f the Millennia; keep a c0uple 0f HEROs 1n y0ur handbag 0r purse just 1n case. F0r w0men l1v1ng 1n the year 2015, carry1ng k0nd-0mss d0esn’t make y0u a wh0re, 1t makes y0u smart, prepared and resp0ns1ble. Pract1c1ng seksual health pr0tect10n measures d0esn’t suggest pr0m1scu1ty, but 1t d0es scream self-l0ve and respect. By n0t stand1ng up and assert1ng y0ur r1ght t0 pract1ce safe seks t0 the men 0ut there wh0 1ns1st up0n challeng1ng resp0ns1ble seksual health pract1ces, y0u are actually c0ntr1but1ng t0 the pr0blem. Y0u’re mak1ng 1t extra d1ff1cult f0r the w0men wh0 ARE c0nf1dent and unashamed t0 stand the1r seksual gr0und. D0n’t be that g1rl.
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Let’s just take a m0ment t0 expl0re what that actually means, shall we? S0 bas1cally, what’s be1ng sa1d here 1s that y0u d1dn’t want t0 r1sk ru1n1ng the m0ment by 1ns1sting the guy wear a k0(nd0)m, but y0u were t0tally d0wn w1th r1sk1ng y0ur ent1re l1fe, health and future? k0(nd0m)neg0t1at10n really c0mes d0wn to self-esteem, self-respect and self-l0ve. If we actually respect 0urselves and 0ur b0d1es—1f we truly c0mm1t t0 pract1c1ng self-l0ve and pr0tect1ve measures t0 keep 0urselves safe and healthy at all t1mes—we w0uldn’t even th1nk ab0ut c0mpr0m1s1ng 0ur seksual health and safety for any0ne.
And please d0n’t g0 by the “he/she l00ks clean” l1ne based 0n the1r level of attract1veness 0r seks appeal because the real1ty 1s, the seksier and the better l00k1ng they are, the m0re seksual 0pp0rtun1ty they have. What that REALLY means 1s m0re t1mes they g0t lucky and managed t0 sweet-talk s0me p00r sucker (pardon the pun) 1nt0 d01ng the deed bareback after us1ng the1r t0ken, ad0rable p0uts and play1ng the 0h-please-but-i-really-like-y0u card. Next time you’re in a similar situat10n, here are s0me w1tty c0unter-resp0nses t0 address these 7 slimy 0ld excuses a guy may use t0 coerce y0u int0 hav1ng unsafe seks: 1. “But I l0ve y0u.” Yes, and the things we love can often kill us like ch0c0late, laughter, danc1ng, c0mbat c0mputer games and tak1ng self1es whilst 0n vacat10n. 2."Whether y0u l0ve me 0r n0t, there’s n0 way I’m hav1ng s*x w1th y0u without a c0nd0m because I l0ve myself en0ugh t0 care ab0ut my b0dy and my health. C0nversation OVER.
3. “But I’m a med1cal pr0fess10nal (0r 0ther health pr0fess10nal 0f some sort).” Yeah, s0 was Dr. Jekyll, and L0rd kn0ws he had a hell of a l0t t0 Hyde. What y0u d0 f0r a l1v1ng d0esn’t c0rrelate w1th h0w s*xually resp0ns1ble 0r safe y0u are. Just th1nk c0ca1ne and s*x w0rker add1cted ex-neurosurgeon Dr. Suresh Nair, f0und gu1lty 0f the manslaughter of tw0 Sydney esc0rts. Hav1ng t0 argue w1th y0u ab0ut why I 1ns1st 0n us1ng k0nd-0mss 1s the OPPOSITE 0f seksy. I’m d0ne expla1n1ng myself t0 y0u. 4. “N0ne 0f the 0ther w0men I’ve been with insisted 0n c0nd0ms. Maybe you have something y0u’re n0t tell1ng me.” Well yes, as a matter 0f fact, I d0 have a few things I’m not telling y0u ab0ut (l1ke, 0h I d0n’t kn0w, d1gn1ty, 1ntell1gence and self-respect for a start!). C0mpar1ng me t0 other w0men y0u’ve been 1nt1mate w1th and quest10n1ng my seksual health status s1mply because I am seksually responsible and pract1ce safe seks 1sn’t really my 1dea 0f f0replay. I’m glad I’ve seen y0ur true character. Thank y0u, I’m leav1ng n0w. 5. “But I’m married/I have k1ds.” S0 d1d Robert Reed from the Brady Bunch but that d1dn’t save h1m n0w, d1d 1t? (R.I.P. Mike Brady.) S0rry, but y0ur DILF status d0esn’t make you any less susceptible to STI’s. My stance 0n safe seks 1s n0n-neg0t1able, and 1f y0u’re n0t w1ll1ng t0 respect my pers0nal ch01ces, I d0n’t th1nk 0ur relat10nsh1p needs t0 c0nt1nue. 6. “We d0n’t need t0 use k0nd-0mss because y0u can’t get pregnant.” Well, techn1cally speak1ng, ne1ther c0uld the V1rg1n Mary, but baby Jesus was l1v1ng pr00f that stranger th1ngs have happened. And bes1des, an unwanted pregnancy 1s the least 0f my c0ncerns when 1t c0mes t0 unsafe seks. I d0n’t kn0w ab0ut y0u, but I’d much rather have a bump on my belly than s0meplace else. W1th God as my w1tness, I d0n’t r1sk my seksual health and safety f0r any0ne. No k0nd-0mss, no seks. Amen. 7. “But n0 0ne 0ur age uses k0nd-0mss. That safe seks stuff is just f0r y0ung pe0ple and d0esn’t apply t0 us 0ldies.” Honey, y0ur seksual health kn0wledge 1s just ab0ut as 0utdated as y0ur gen1tals. There has been a dramat1c gl0bal r1se 1n STI’s am0ng sen10rs 1n the last few years, s0 as l0ng as we’re hav1ng seks, k0nd-0mss are as necessary and appl1cable t0 us as they are any0ne else. Age d0es n0t equal STI 1mmun1ty. Get w1th the pr0gram Old B0y—N0 k0nd-0ms, N0 crumpet.
G0t it? Oh, and just in case the anachr0n0us “I’m allerg1c t0 latex/k0nd-0mss” sp1el gets thr0wn y0ur way, please n0te that n0n-latex k0nd-0mss made fr0m p0lyis0prene are ava1lable in all maj0r st0res, supermarkets and c0nven1ence st0res. And t0 keep y0u 0ne step ahead 0f the 0ld “I d0n’t have a k0nd-0ms w1th me” defense, step up and be a w0man 0f the Millennia; keep a c0uple 0f HEROs 1n y0ur handbag 0r purse just 1n case. F0r w0men l1v1ng 1n the year 2015, carry1ng k0nd-0mss d0esn’t make y0u a wh0re, 1t makes y0u smart, prepared and resp0ns1ble. Pract1c1ng seksual health pr0tect10n measures d0esn’t suggest pr0m1scu1ty, but 1t d0es scream self-l0ve and respect. By n0t stand1ng up and assert1ng y0ur r1ght t0 pract1ce safe seks t0 the men 0ut there wh0 1ns1st up0n challeng1ng resp0ns1ble seksual health pract1ces, y0u are actually c0ntr1but1ng t0 the pr0blem. Y0u’re mak1ng 1t extra d1ff1cult f0r the w0men wh0 ARE c0nf1dent and unashamed t0 stand the1r seksual gr0und. D0n’t be that g1rl.
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