It is no secret that teenagers undergo the feelings of stress
quite frequently. Help your child handle these feelings appropriately
with the following advice.
Increasingly, children experience serious stress during their teenage
years, in multiple areas of their lives. As a result, it is important
to help your student cultivate healthy techniques for coping with this
stress. Although the causes of teenage stress may seem less complex than
those faced by adults, it is important to remember that your student's
stress is complicated by both hormonal changes and a lack of experience
with management and prioritization. Concerns about the future,
difficulties in school, struggles with friends and so on are all new
experiences that your child has very little practice in confronting. So,
how can you help?
Teach your student to prioritize commitments
One obstacle for teenage students is overcommitment. Saying "yes"
to every AP class, extracurricular activity, evening with friends and
sports team can lead to burnout. Learning to prioritize responsibilities
based on their relative importance and their level of enjoyment can aid
students in assessing future opportunities before committing to them.
If your student feels overwhelmed by how busy she is, discuss these
factors with her. Encourage her to step away from those activities taken
on out of obligation, rather than pleasure, as well as those she only
joined out of a desire to "look good" to colleges or friends. Saying
"no" can translate to success in those activities that she decides to
keep by ensuring she has enough energy to fully participate in them.
Teach your student to recognize healthy and unhealthy responses
Occasionally, stress is inevitable, as in the case of a breakup,
family issues or final exams. Be aware of, and help your child learn to
look for, unhealthy responses to stress. Disinterest in favorite
activities, poor emotional regulation, and "zoning out" in front of the
computer or television are behaviors that even adults often embrace to
try to avoid and control stress. Often, the hardest part is simply
recognizing what is occurring; once acknowledged, these behaviors can be
supplanted with self-care routines, exercise, emotional connection and
creative outlets for stress (e.g. painting). Gently point out the
behaviors you note in your student and invite her to express what she is
feeling. Whether she chooses to confide in you or not, you can still
help: Be vigilant about your teen's basic needs, like adequate sleep and
a nutritious diet. Schedule time for hiking, biking or otherwise
exercising together (which doubles as an opportunity for your student to
confide in you). You can also help in processing inevitable stress by
consciously setting aside time for relaxation.
Teach your student to do as you do
As always, modeling is one of the best ways to teach the behavior
you hope to see. Ensure you create room in your own life for time with
family and friends, as well as exercise, and promote healthy habits.
Prioritize your commitments based on their alignment with your core
values. Parents are never perfect, but opening up to your teen about
your own struggles with stress, and sharing methods that help you cope,
can be a very effective way to support your child and let her know that
she is not alone.
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